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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A scientists perspective: Online dating is like writing a research proposal for funding

Alright. I have a very important experiment that I need to do between today and tomorrow, before I wake up on Thursday and take (read: drag) myself to the airport for a "Thanksgiving Break" with friends. Have to laundry, pack, wash my hair, clean up the trash, do the dishes - so many things to do, so little time:)
But I suddenly thought about my online dating project and how it is similar to writing an NIH grant proposal that will never see the light of funding. Now here's a disclaimer, NIH pays for my salary, so I am grateful to them. But in times of recession, it has become increasingly difficult to get funding- and I am sure everyone will agree on that.
Pressed for time this will be a short post.
NIH grants these days are hard to come by. You have to not only really write a good grant (short and scientifically sound as well in English), you have to have preliminary results, an impressive background of productivity, publications. Also you have to submit to the correct study section at the right time and hope that you will be the top 5 percentile in your section to get that funding. However, according to my knowledge sometimes your budget is either cut or you are not given the amount you asked for based on inflation (I was about to write inflammation!!!). And no experiments can be fishing expeditions. So in a nutshell, pretty much you have to be the best scientist, coming up with the best experiments, and at the right time.
Now think about finding someone online- this project will never get funded for sure. To begin with its a fishing expedition. You kind of know what you want but remember its not what you want but what the other people out there want from you. To pass through the first round of screening this is what you must be like: she must look like a Miss World, have arms like Mrs Obama, dress like Kate Middleton (not Pippa, Pippa's too sexy), know how to drive a car, must cook like Giada (oh and if she looked like Giada too!!). She must also have some sort of a college degree, preferably one that gets her a job so that she can contribute to the domestic earnings. And then if you have managed to make it through this tough selection, you need to talk over phone and pretty much give Tina Fey a run for her money or your sense of humor is not so good. You also need to adjust to their OCDs. At this point, I think I decided a career switch will be an easier option and hence online dating needs to take a back seat. I am just not cut out for it. More on this topic later....to be contd.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

MM's online stats and an actual chat conversation

So at 126 days:

Profile views 1350!!!!!!!
Expressed interest 313!!!

Compare this to 120 days and you can calculate the rate of views per day!!

Oh well so I wake up today, blissful snowy morning and decide that I need to hit the gym today- its been a long time and I need to get rid of that excess energy (now you smirky little people do not try suggesting other ways of fulfilling that); but I need to check the online dating site so I log in .... and pop comes a chat window...
(FYI Pesto has a Phd and is working in some company, 37 yrs)

Pesto : ooo pick me pick me
Michki: Hi
Pesto: Hello, so what type of a scientist are you?
Michki: A real one!
Pesto: OOo good answer, you win
          Michki 1  pesto 0
Michki: is this a competition?
Pesto: No, sorry if I offended you, anyway how is life? just wanted to start a conversation
Michki: if this is your starting line, I guess I am not the right person for you.
Pesto: no thot (sic) science was the common ground.

Do I need to add that the conversation ended there? Did u get a good laugh? Oooo I did I did!! 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Perception Vs Reality

          As I think about the various things that happened to me during the last few months and are still happening, not necessarily related to me directly, I wonder how much of it is our perception and how much is reality.
      
If you saw us in public you would never think we were fighting the moment we closed the door on you. After my brother knew about our situation and had already intervened, he came to meet us during our 2nd anniversary; we took him out for lunch, I got flowers and gifts from my X, we seemed to be the most normal couple around- he left confused. We had the perfect couple pictures on the appropriate social networking sites, we had people commenting on how cute we looked together! We never made you feel out of place- we were the most gracious hosts holding dinners and lunches. And in all of this we would smile- my house looked perfectly done- actually picture perfect sometimes. Perception vs Reality! 
   And so I sit and think about how many of these "oh so perfectly cute for each other " couples that I see around me have a direct relationship with happiness. Is it just my perception? I hope not!